User talk:DraconicMan/Bionic Commando (3.5e Class)

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Ratings[edit]

RatedOppose.png Ganteka Future opposes this article and rated it 0 of 4.
Finally, a class named after one of my favorite NES games that will allow me to play a character where I grapple onto stuff with my sweet mechanical arm and have a total inability to jump or swim. Oh, wait… silly me, I should not have expected this class and a game series around since 1987 with the same name to have anything in common (well, at least Swim isn't a class skill here I suppose). Poor choice of name aside (that totally just feels like a shameless attention grabber), this class is just a confusing mess of un-usability. Since Eiji did such a nice job breaking everything down, I'm just going to include a string of assorted nonsense for the rest of this rating. Enjoy!:
need no verbal or movement unless it is a bard spell and has 1 str and 1 dex per level (+5 for first level) opposed will save to negate accumulative as many HD as he cound undead divine and arcane 1/4 of a Force point 50 foot area 1/2 hp 100 feet 60 feet free action 1d20 rounds 0 hp reflex save to negate the attack damage range 60 feet deal 1 damage DC fortitude opposed roll 120 points to summon 1d12+caster level damage as a quick action on air, breathe normal, and walk through or on walls gravity stops for everything up to 10 spent this effect last 1 additional round for 1d20 rounds or until released if a spell requires a verbal command and the creature is immoblized it cannot be cast once per encounter dispelled at will double damage level one during this level.
RatedOppose.png Fluffykittens opposes this article and rated it 0 of 4.
And back to gibberish. This article may ever gain need no oppose.
RatedOppose.png Spanambula opposes this article and rated it 0 of 4.
Wow, following Eiji's review is like a local comedian having to go onstage after Patton Oswalt.

Well, what Eiji said, I just want to oppose this so it gets taken down.

RatedOppose.png Eiji-kun opposes this article and rated it 0 of 4.
Oh boy, more classes.  :/ Well, this one I'm gonna go in depth to. Though I have a bad feeling about this, first a compliment. You got the save progression right! Three cheers to that.

d8 (well, dd8, mind the typo), full BAB, two good saves, 6+Int. Looks ok, maybe some kind of ranger-like thing. The name is Bionic Commando, I'm expecting some manner of melee thing. Of course, my expectations for that are broken when I encounter Mental Caster. But... wait. This class doesn't advance spellcasting. Nor give it from the looks of it. What is Mental Caster even for?

Then it gains Telekinesis, and it doesn't follow the spell telekinesis I see. It has a lot of variables based on level, which I find clunky. Worse, what action is it used on this? Normally it defaults to a standard action, but wait... is this (Ex)? (Su)? (Sp)? Does it provoke? I know nothing. And you say the object has... Str and Dex? What does that mean?

With Drain you have more of those "opposed will saves" which frankly isn't a very good mechanic to begin with. Well what does it do? "Drain power from their surroundings?" So the surroundings, an inanimate object, makes a Will save? No, no it seems a target makes a will save, even though you just said it was "the surroundings". Whatever, there's more pointless variables with the immunity duration, and it still hasn't said what drain does. Next paragraph then.

Oh, it's ability drain. Well, as written, this causes ability drain and not, as I suspected you wanted, transfer the ability score to you. For the better. Please note that this ability is not a spell. As far as we can tell it's Extraordinary, because it's not marked anything. Curiously this ability drain, something defined different from ability damage due to its duration and curing method, only lasts 1d10 rounds. Because everyone likes rolling for durations, right? Excuse me, I have to roll 2d6 to see how many words I have left in this sentence, then 1d12+4 to determine how many seconds it takes to type this, but first I roll 7d8 x10.7 to figure out how long it takes to determine why this is a bad idea.

Oddly enough as you level you go from small but dangerous ability drain to... mere hp drain. 1d2 hp drain. 1d2 hp. 1d2 hp! I am terrified at the awesome power of the 4th level commando, with the power to deal less damage than acid splash! Why at the 10th level of this class, you can deal as much damage as a club with no strength. Truely Very High level.

What about Infinite Thread? You summon a rope every (why do you keep rolling for duration) rounds. This ability just summons a rope, and ropes are useful, so this is... good? Well, less bad. You can channel spells through it for some reason. The duration rolling is obnoxious, and then you confuse me with " It may split at the caster's will and for every 10 feet it may bind a creature (1/2 for smaller creature x2 for each size bigger). This binding cannot be stopped unless it is broken or the target makes a reflex check of 10 (+1 per caster level)". I literally have no idea what you are saying. Something about a Reflex save? Binding? What is going on here?

Force Clone gives you a simulacrum on the quick. Do all your magic gear get cloned? Can you break action economy with this? Is it even sentient? Is it limited in range as it seems to imply (50 ft?). As least it can't cast the commando's non-existant spells, so... win? And for some reason the clone is electrified. Reminds of of that class, the barbarian. Remember how the barbarian, defined as a master of rage and hitting things with big weapons, randomly got the ability to shit gold at that one level? Also the gold was alive, and the insides were filled with bunny rabbits. Because logic? We use logic here, right?

What I'm saying is that your fluff to mechanics is randumb.

Magic Resistance gives spell turning, which I do not really advise at this level, but at least it's only 10%. Also, you don't seem to know how counterspelling works at all. It's ok though because you don't have spellcasting in this class, so you won't be counterspelling anything.

Detain, is this hold person? What is it's range? How do they do it?

Control Creature has an actual Will save, but no DC. Is the DC Int based? Wisdom based? Based on the number of beers you had before making this class? But let's go with it, someone fails their will save. What does it do? Well, you can release control of creatures. Ok, but what does control do? Well, they get will saves every (seriously damnit stop rolling durations) rounds. But what does the control do?? Well, bodies have no resistance. What? Dead bodies? Living bodies? What bodies? WHAT DOES CONTROL DO? Well, attacks from controlled creatures randumbly deal electric damage. At the least you got it right, it's electric, not shock damage. And you can control them up to a limit as per undead control, so that's good. There is, for some reason, a classification that this is arcane and divine, but you know what really needs to be classified?

WHAT. DOES. CONTROL. DO?

Bah! Force Field appears. You now have to track "force points" while tracking your 7389 differently scaling durations as well as changing ability scores every round and re-calculating all the stats that come off as a result. The force shields seem rather fragile, with at 10th level having 10x5=50 possible charges for a whopping 25 hp force wall. Sir, I shit turds strong enough to break that wall. Such a force wall is useless.

Force Blast does a foolish amount of damage. Now you can get up to 50 damage by spending your entire pool in one blow. This might be impressive to a crippled monk, but its a good roll or simple empowerment on a fireball for a spellcaster, which Very High is generally compared to. You just depleted all your ammo, I have 6 more castings of empowered fireball to drop on you. Also, what does "Target must make a DC fortitude opposed roll against the blast, which will count has having fortitude = how many points where used..." even mean? Still, at least you're using actual saving throw terminology.

For some reason the area effects, a rather large area, silences people for some reason. Wierd. Out of all the powers, it's the best though since it does something and there's a save involved (if completely borked save).

If you're wondering, saving throws are usually either 10 + spell level + ability modifier, or 10 + 1/2 HD + ability modifier. They do it for a reason; simplicity. Use it.

Web Master makes invisibles webs. Not a web it seems, just a web-not-as-the-spell. Still it implies that it might be the spell. Perhaps you should have just said "this is web with the Invisible Spell metamagic on it.

Invisible Force pays up to "120 points". 120 points of what? Are these force points? Can't do it, you cap out at 50. Maybe this is "nonsense points" which I see this class gives an unlimited amount of. Of course you're making an invisible intangible creature, and statting its ability scores right there. Using point buy? Going straight 1:1 ratio? Why not have 1 in every stat (except Str because it seems to be incorporeal) and put everything in, oh, Charisma. Even with no ranks I'd out-bluff or UMD or whatever the like cause my score is 115. It can pop out, apparently, anywhere in infinite range because it has no range. Ah! It can cast spells, presumably with Charisma, so now my save DCs are absurdly high! So, this invisible, practically invincible ghost is going around twin spell echoing the shit out of everything, passing through walls... OH GOD IT HAS AN ATTACK BASED ON STRENGTH! What's that? It just did 1d10+115 damage? Well ok! There's something about DCs and saves for a score over 20, but its written in thick engrish, and I can't understand a word of it.

Master of the Air gives reverse gravity at level 8. So we've gone from being too weak and struggling to deal any hp damage to goddamn 8th level spells. Funny thing about this overpowered tripe: the caster does not seem to be immune and it's centered on them. I hope you can fly or have a ring of feather fall, otherwise you just cast Suicide Made Easy: The Spell.

Short Pause talks about "quick actions" which seem to want to be an "immediate action". And it's time stop, goddamn time stop. And you can make it 1d4+5 rounds, because why not. You can't interact, except when you can like disarming, even though time stop doesn't let you do that. And you can attack, even though you just said you couldn't attack, because damnit where are my suicide pills I can't make it through this class goddamnit.

Master of the Earth triple gravity, which is amusing because there are rules for heavy gravity and it's not as bad as reverse gravity. You at least give mechanics with this. Stupid mechanics, but mechanics. No save, mind you.

Master of Magic is a straight up immunity to attacks or magic, and it's pretty foolish. After all the other stuff though I don't even care. I've been twin echoing things with my strongman ghost for days now.

And as a capstone, bionic adaptation levels you twice in two classes I hope we never see on this wiki, god help us all.

My god, I went into this review with no expectations. And you somehow BROKE them.

I know you came from paleowiki, the other D&D wiki run by Green Dragon.

I know your stuff is there, I've seen it. I know that Green Dragon's wiki is a cesspool of bad articles devoid of any sense of balance or formatting.

Honest question. Did... did you get kicked out from there because your stuff was too bad for danddwiki? Because I will believe it.

Try again! From scratch! I'm sorry, I'm going full Gordon Ramsey on you! This is terrible! Abomination! 0/10 would not play! Start over!