View source for Sigil Prep (3.5e Campaign Setting)/Races

== Races ==

=== Humans ===

Humans make up a solid 50% of the student body. They come from all number of the material planes. In general, the human populace makes up the majority of the student government, many clubs and sports teams. A good deal of the humans come from Greyhawk, and though they fall into six major ethnic groups (Baklunish, Flan, Oeridians, Olman, Rhenee, and Suloise), they don’t make nearly as big a deal about it as the Faerunians.

Faerunian humans get along well with Elves, Dwarves, Halflings. They can even have hobgoblins over for tea, but by golly, they go out of their way to divide themselves into ethnicities. “Oh, I’m half Chondathan, a quarter Tethyrian, and one-quarter Damaran.” At least with Elves, ethnicity can mean the difference between having wings or breathing water. With humans, it’s just ego. (For the record: Arkaiun, Calashite, Chondathan, Damaran, Durpari, Halruaan, Illuskan, Mulan, Rashemi, Shaaryan, Tethyrian, blah blah, blah blah, blah blah blah blah).

What few Rokugani humans attend Sigil are still very concerned with their social standing, honor and clan baloney. “What? I, a mighty Lion Clan samurai, cannot play on the same baseball team as that Mantis Clan scoundrel!”

Humans are the dominant race on Eberron, as well.  They tend to divide up, not by ethnicity, but by Houses.  Notice a pattern here? No matter where they come from, Humans are obsessed with artificial divisions.

Meanwhile, the humans on Krynn are either the least or greatest offenders, depending on how you look at it. No glaring concern with ethnicity, just whether or not you’re civilized or Nomads. In other words, all that matters on Krynn is whether or not you have a house.

'''Aventi:''' "So in tune are we with the water, that we can cast spells with the "water" descriptor with advanced skill... let's see, no, no, no...  no...  *sigh* Water descriptor, water descriptor... Oh, here's one... that sucks..." ''--1st year Adaran, aventi wizard (and regretting it)''

'''Azurin:''' Azurin do everything in extremes.  If they're lawful, they're very lawful.  If they're chaotic, they might well be Slaadi.  If they take fourth year Undercommon, they take the hell out of fourth year Undercommon.  For this reason, Maddie won't allow them on any committee where they might out-School Spirit her.

'''Illumian:''' "Illumian is a very difficult language to learn, so I have no idea whether they've got cheat notes in those floating sigils around their heads or not.  It's my policy that any Illumian that looks in any direction during an exam fails."  ''--Professor Morthos, head of Warlock studies''

'''Inspired Empty Vessel (+1 LA):''' They are born and raised to serve as the hosts for the powerful Quori.  They are specially trained and educated, and are naturally exquisite diplomats.  They're great to have on Debate Team, but their fraternity is pretty elite.

'''Karsite (+2 LA):''' "Fools!  Your magic merely heals me!"  ''*Crack*'' "Okay, the mace is cheating." ''--Delphanos, 2nd place in intramural mage dueling''

'''Mongrelfolk:''' "Hating Mongrelfolk isn't racism.  It's like hating all people equally.  Am I right?"  ''--Regdar, just doesn't give up.''

'''Neanderthal:''' Neanderthals rarely pass the entrance exam to attend the school, but some are jobbed in for sports scholarships.  It works out pretty well, except in Chemistry class, where they've based a religion around the Bunsen burners.

'''Sea Folk:''' "Aquatic humans aren't really aquatic!?  That's so typical.  Humans are so proud of their adaptability, but when you get right down to it, they're just a bunch of half-asses."  ''--Kailey, doesn't like humans, either''

'''Sharakim (+1 LA):''' "What's up with the denyin', that's what I want to know.  Not only are these orcs dressing all preppy human, but they even went and got themselves the 'human' subtype."  ''--Krusk, 4th year half-orc barbarian''

'''Silverbrow Humans:''' Generations ago, years of silver dragon and human intermingling resulted in this new strain of humans.  "Dad..."*facepalm* ''--Kara Gleamingsheen, freshman silver dragon''

'''Skulk (2 HD +1 LA):''' "They just sit there, in little clumps, in the lobby of the dorm.  Staring at the idiot box."  ''--Mialee, creeped-out elf wizard''  "Idiot box?" ''--the humble author''  "Oh, yeah.  They grabbed Devis and shoved him in a box, and make him tell stories all night."  ''--Mialee''

'''Underfolk:''' "Deep Dwarves, Deep Gnomes, Deep Orcs, now Deep Humans.  Let's not forget who started this trend, people.  You all want to be Drow, and you know it."  ''--Maddie Webber, 4th year Drow cleric/rogue''

'''Vashar:''' "So here’s an entire race of humans whose greatest desire is to be not simply evil, but Vile. They are to normal humans, so very worse than what Drow are to Elves. I mean, I would never boo at a pep rally!" ''-–Maddie Webber, 3rd year Drow rogue/cleric/cheerleader''

'''Lycanthropes (animal’s HD +2 or +3 LA):''' "Okay, kids. For the last time. You can’t catch lycanthropy from a drinking fountain. You can’t get it by casual kissing or using a public toilet or even sharing drinking glasses. Get the facts. Got it? Good."

=== Dwarves ===

Dwarves are strangely aloof, preferring to avoid the more social student events. They do enjoy participating in student government, debate club, and similar, structured activities. Most dwarves from Greyhawk are Hill Dwarves, though a fair amount are Mountain Dwarves.
     
Gold Dwarves, from Faerun, pride themselves on being from the Great Rift. “Yes, well, in the Great Rift, we do this.” “No, it would never be that way in the Great Rift.” “I like these Krynnian steaks, but they’re nothing like the ones we had back at the Great Rift.” Feh.

There’s also the Shield Dwarves on Faerun, which aren’t that different from Greyhawk Dwarves, or Eberron Dwarves, or for that matter the Hill Dwarves and Mountain Dwarves from Krynn, and they actually get along well. Humans could learn a lot from Dwarves.

'''Arctic Dwarf (+2 LA):''' The biggest problem most people have with Arctic Dwarves is their insistence of turning the AC way down in their dorm rooms. That and the dire polar bears.

'''Badlands Dwarf:''' "HA!  I told you I could find water instinctively!"  --Torrif, 3rd year badlands dwarf fighter  "We're in the bathroom, dude." ''--Krusk, despite the insults, always surrounded by people dumber than himself''

'''Deep Dwarf:''' These dwarves live far underground.  Like, far, far, underground.  Like they occasionally tunnel straight through Sigil's ring and plummet forever toward the Outlands.  Stupid Dwarves.

'''Dream Dwarf:''' The novelty of dwarven precogs is such that for half a semester people were lining up at Mala's dorm room, paying her 25 gold a piece to give them advice about the future, relationships, what have you.  Until somebody finally pointed out that there was a basic, freshman level spell that did the same thing.

'''Duergar (+1 LA):''' Gray Dwarves are pretty grim. Mostly Lit majors.  From Krynn, a slightly related race, the Dark Dwarves, do not possess the variety of psionic powers of Duergar, but they make up for it in sheer moodiness. Sit in the corner of the coffee shop and write poetry about undeath.

'''Fireblood Dwarves:''' "And then he said, 'My people are born to battle red dragons!" and charged right into Professor Flashburn's office.  I guess great wyrms aren't that impressed by Fire Resistance 5." ''--Tordek, filling out his freshman year roommate's Resurrection paperwork''

'''Glacier Dwarf:''' "Man, Kailey's so cold, only a Glacier Dwarf could love her." ''--Graffiti on the locker room in the Arena of Kord''

'''Gully Dwarf:''' What, are you kidding? They don’t have a bus short enough to get those guys here. 

'''Korobokuru:''' “This isn’t exactly PC, but, see... Regdar, he has this thing for Kara-Turan women. Thinks they looks exotic. So, when this Kara-Turan dwarf moved in to Barghest Hall, I thought, hey, let’s check her out. Kara-Turan dwarves? Ugh-lee!” ''–-Tordek, offensive lineman''

'''Seacliff Dwarves:''' "They swim well, sure, but they just look so stupid doing it..." ''--Eretha, merfolk swim team coach''

'''Urdunnir (+4 LA):''' Despite their oddball powers and abilities, Urdunnir don’t favor the adventuring classes, instead having a favored class of “Expert”. Meaning, they usually go to various Underdark Community Colleges.

'''Wild Dwarf:''' “Lidda started dating a Wild Dwarf, and she never does anything without a reason. I figured, they’re good with poison and blowguns. I don’t sleep anymore.” ''-–Naull, Lidda’s roommate''

=== Elves and Half-Elves ===

Of course, Elves make up the second highest percentage of students at Sigil. They tend to be annoyingly social, and form more clubs and fraternities than any other group. Elves are way ahead of the curve when it comes to trends, and were piercing and streaking when everybody else was still into mohawks. On Greyhawk, they’re High Elves; on Faerun, they’re Moon Elves. They are very sensitive about this. Call a High Elf “Moon Elf”, you are in for a hurting. Call a Moon Elf “High Elf”, it isn’t pretty. It’s safer just to say “Elf”.

For that matter, it’s better not to talk to Sun Elves (or Gray Elves) at all. They think they’re better than you. They won’t acknowledge you, unless they think you’ll bring them coffee. If you get a chance to nail one, go for it, but don’t delude yourself into believing they’ll call you back.

There's Elves on Eberron that are snootier still.  The Aerenai Elves, for instance.  So damn calm in the face of danger.  Calm, stoic.  Still, it's fun to pour drinks on there heads.  Khorvaire Elves tend to blend a little better, owing allegiance to dorm and class rather than race.  Which sets them apart from the Valenar Elves, who think their Dad's better than your Dad.

'''Aquatic Elf:''' Of course, fully aquatic races have their own swim teams rather than competing with “grounders”. They think we’re funny when we swim. That’s only fair, since they’re so freaking hilarious when they run the hundred meter.

'''Avarial (+3 LA):''' Although they are quite the fashion mavens, winged elves never quite got into miniskirts.

'''Drow (+2 LA):''' “Now, some of you are going to take physical sciences, and you’re going to come to think that the universe would work just fine without the gods. Listen up, people, this is where Driders come from!” ''-–Maddie Webber, president, Students for Lolth''

'''Deepwyrm Drow (+2 LA):'''  "Deep dragon?  Great-Grampa was a deep dragon?  What's the matter, weren't there any ankhegs to hump?"  ''--Tagralo'ar, 1st year Deepwyrm Drow dragonfire adept, painfully realizing just who the Drow's "powerful allies" are''

'''Forestlord Elves:'''  "You'll never catch me, Soveliss!  I can leap into this tree...  And out of this one!  And into" whump "Oww... once per day, right, once... per day"  ''--Antolan, 2nd year forestlord elf Rogue''

'''Kagonesti:''' Of the Krynnish Elven races, these are the least common at Sigil. They don’t stay in the dorms, they stay in the parks between the dormitory areas. As you walk by, they make fun of you. This is only since campus security took their bows away.

'''Painted Elf:'''  "Okay, in the desert, that's called 'camouflage'.  Here, it's called 'Drag'."  ''--Hennet, 3rd year human sorcerer''

'''Qualinesti:''' “Can someone explain to me why a Faerunian gnoll, a Greyhawk gnoll, and a Krynnian gnoll are all exactly the same, but every Material has its own five hundred variants of elf? Man, no wonder there’s no orcs on Krynn.” ''–-Krusk, failing his Comparative Cultures test''

'''Silvanesti:''' They consider themselves better than all the other students at Sigil. Sometimes, you just have to remind them that they were kicked out of their ancestral homeland by Minotaurs. Not big, massive Greyhawk minotaurs, oh no. Krynn Minotaurs, which aren’t much bigger than orcs. Guess who still lives in Evermeet, orc-bait?

'''Sea Elf:''' There’s two kinds of water-breathing elf on Krynn (always have to one up everybody else, those Krynn elves). There’s the Dargonesti, and the Dimernesti. Are they satisfied just breathing water? Of course not, they’re Krynn elves. They turn into freaking otters.

'''Snow Elf:'''  Once again...  Whatever the environment, from deep underwater, to steaming jungle, to the frigid, fricking tundra, there's an indigenous race of Elves there.  "Professor Mordenkainen created his own demiplane some years back, from scratch, and there were Elves waiting for him.  They're beautiful, stuck-up roaches."  ''--Kailey, 3rd year tiefling sorcerer''

'''Star Elf:''' Native to a smallish demiplane which borders a smallish portion of Faerun, Star Elves like to play up the whole “stranger in a strange land” crap. Pretend they can’t speak Common, that sort of stuff. Pretty smug for a bunch of guys with light bulbs taped to their heads.

'''Wild Elf:''' “Like, they don’t call them ‘Wild Elf’ for nothing. Wow.” ''-–Mialee, 5th year elf wizard''

'''Wood Elf:''' Wood Elves are reclusive. By this, I mean, they hole up in their rooms and play with their scrying pools all night. No social life whatsoever. If you’re assigned to a room with a wood elf roommate, try to switch.

;Half-Elves

Born of human and elf interbreeding, half-elves are a clique all their own. While full-blood elves are “too cool for school”, half-elves are often the center of the true popular crowd, though just as often, they are social outcasts.

Now, there’s also half-aquatic elves and half-Drow, often packed off to boarding school because they’re insufficiently evil or insufficiently amphibious. The irony is, they tend to be joiners, and end up hanging with the full blood aquatic elves and/or Drow anyway.

=== Gnomes ===

It’s easy to write Rock Gnomes off as geeks, which is fine, because many of them are. They have their own little clubs that are open to anyone but generally attract only other gnomes (and sometimes halflings), and enjoy bizarre forms of entertainment such as sequential art novels and sitting around tables pretending to be adventurers (an odd hobby for students at an adventuring school).

Gnomes from Krynn are slightly different, much more fascinated with building gadgets than talking to burrowing animals. Schedules always have shop classes with Krynn gnomes immediately followed by shop classes with Eberron artificers, to fix the gnome’s projects. (Mad Gnomes are allowed in the Eberron level shop classes. The “sane” gnomes will make fun of them all the same.)

Speaking of which, the Gnomes of Eberron, while not as "explosive" as Krynnian Gnomes, are just as obsessive.  They've been spotted wandering the halls, taking notes of people's personal habits.  Creepy.

'''Chaos Gnome (+1 LA):'''  They are the luckiest people in all the worlds, Chaos Gnomes.  Aidien, for instance, has been known to close his eyes and fill in circles at random, and he maintains a B average.  More impressively, he went out with Mialee for an entire month, and he's not on a single sports team. 

'''Deep Gnomes (+3 LA):''' Also called “Svirfneblin” by those who can pronounce it. Among the stealthiest beings that ever lived, it is not unknown for a Svirf to get the highest grade on the final without anyone, even the professor, ever realizing he was in the class.

'''Forest Gnome (+1 LA):''' Most of these guys hang out in the park area, and don’t so much attend classes. Sometimes they like to stand perfectly still in the garden wearing pointy hats, and often take unexpected vacations.

'''Ice Gnome:'''  Instead of talking to badgers, they talk to otters.  That's all.

'''Stonehunter Gnome:'''  "Yes, yes...  We're the favored people of the copper dragon." Ka-Boom!  *sigh*  "We're the favored people of a creature with 'practical joking' as a cultural trait..."  ''--Iklan, 3rd year stonehunter gnome ranger''

'''Wavecrest Gnome:'''  Mr. Roper was only too glad to grant Milth his request.  Now, he lives in a small broom closet beside the swimming pool.

'''Whisper Gnome:''' "Oh, yeah.  My roommate's a whisper gnome.  I never see him, though.  Which is pretty creepy, because he's actually in the room."  ''--Nebin, who needed a quote''

=== Halflings ===

Lightfoot Halflings are the ultimate wannabees. They try to get involved in everything, and are completely unaware how annoying everyone else finds them.  They are generally Rogue majors, and spend a good deal of their time practicing those skills, whether or not it's socially acceptable at any given moment.

Ghostwise Halflings, meanwhile, are actually capable of annoying other halflings, which is no mean feat. Oddly, the only halflings that really aren’t terribly invasive are Tallfellow (Toril: Strongheart) Halflings, who generally attend local schools and are virtually absent from Sigil.

Eberron produces some interesting halflings, too.  Khorvaire Halflings act almost human.  "You can introduce them to friends, even," says Naull, whose lightfoot roommate playfully stabs her in the spine on a regular basis.  Not like Talenta Halflings, who save their attacks only when they mean it.

'''Deep Halfling:'''  Far below the Oerth's surface, there are the Deep Halflings, or, as most underdark denizens call them "hors d'oeuvres."  A few make it to Sigil Prep on a pity scholarship.

'''Glimmerskin Halflings:'''  "They're the world's luckiest halflings.  Let me repeat that.  The world's luckiest halflings.  That's like being the world's surliest dwarf or the world's ugliest orc.  They need a dragon ancestor to be racially competent at being their race?" ''--Redgar, 5th year human fighter''  

'''Jerren:''' Stronghearts are content to eat on campus. Lightfoots usually go off campus to eat. Jerren go off campus to eat the townies.

'''Kender:''' It’s generally thought, by new students, that the worst thing about Kender is their tendency to “borrow”. Missing a carton of milk or a pair of socks? That’s not because you have a Kender roommate, it’s just because you have a roommate. That’s what roommates do. The worst thing about kender is that they’re so bleeping happy all the time. It’s not natural. (Afflicted kender make better roommates, though they still steal your pudding cups. It’s all that brings them joy anymore.)

'''Shoal Halfling:'''  "Too small, throw him back."  ''--Mialee, 5th year elf wizard''

'''Tundra Halfling:'''  "Lidda met some Tundra halfling kids over break.  Bad, bad thing.  Halfling affinity for throwing, plus sneak attack, equals very nasty snowball fights."  ''--Naull, Lidda's roommate''

=== Orcs and Half-Orcs ===

There aren’t that many orcs enrolled at Sigil Prep, mostly because they lack either the academics or the money to get in. There’s a bunch of orc townies who hang around the campus, though, looking to score with the hot elf chicks. It’s pretty well known that they’ll buy beer for you. (In Faerun, to those in the know, they also tend to be called Mountain Orcs).

Also in Faerun, there’s the slightly more powerful and certainly faster Gray Orcs. These are the orcs that give up wrestling for track. And tracking, because they smell like a dog. That is, they have a sense of smell like a dog's. And... well, an odor like a dog.

'''Frostblood Orcs:'''  "Holy crap!  This dragonblood race didn't have ancestors that interbred with dragons, they had ancestors that ate them.  I may never say a bad word about orcs again.  Oh, hey, Krusk.  Fall out on bed on your face this morning?" ''--Regdar, 5th year human fighter''    

'''Orog (+2 LA):''' Old habits die hard. On Faerun, Orogs developed powerfully to defend themselves against the more prominent Drow. At Sigil Prep, with the numbers somewhat more equal, they tend to bully the Drow students. “Hey, quit pushing me, you freaking yochlol!” ''-–Maddie Webber, to recently deceased Orog freshman''

;Half-Orcs

Half-orcs are not a huge percentage of the school population, and it is not unusual for them to be shunned by their human and elven peers. Only a few put together the obvious; for someone like Krusk to get into Sigil, his parents must be loaded. Which could be why he’s dating the head cheerleader.

Scablands Half-orcs:  "Now, I'm just trying to follow this, bear with me.  Your dad was a regular orc.  Your mom was a regular human.  You were born in the desert.  You can go an extended amount of time without water.  Now, who did you inherit that from?"  ''--Tordek, 4th year dwarf fighter''

=== Planetouched ===

Planetouched are quite common at Sigil Prep, it being on an outer plane, and all that. They would like to remind you that they count as Outsiders.

'''Aasimar (+1 LA):''' “If there’s anything more arrogant than a paladin, it’s an Aasimar. Merrick, being an Aasimar paladin, he’s just a jackass. Plus, he’s starting forward on the basketball team? Please” ''–-Kailey, tiefling sorcerer''

'''Fey’ri (+2 or +3 LA):''' Evermeet is the most popular spring break destination for fullblood elves. For Fey’ri, it’s the Bleak Eternity of Gehenna.

'''Genasi (+1 LA):''' There’s a couple of Air Genasi on the basketball team, an earth genasi on the wrestling team, at least three fire genasi on they volleyball team, and there’s an entire swim relay of water genasi. What do they all have in common? *Ahem, Mialee. Ahem*

'''Gloaming (+2 LA):''' Gloamings glow in the dark. This can be a problem if you’re a light sleeper. If you are assigned a gloaming roommate, it might be a good idea to invest in a sleep mask. Alternately, keep the AC cranked up, so they have to use multiple blankets.

'''Shadowswyft (+1 LA):'''  "Hey!  Stop sneakin' up on me.  Don't you know that's rude?"  ''--Lidda, 4th year halfling rogue, to Nlah, 3rd year shadowswyft rogue''

'''Tanarukk (5 HD +3 LA):''' They have the worst traits of orcs, and the power and temperament of demons. For instance, they pick their teeth with their fingernails... '''FROM HELL!''' And they only shower once a week... '''FROM HELL!''' (Note: Demons are not from Hell. They are from the Abyss. The Tanar’ri Anti-Defamation League would like to protest the lack of accuracy in these matter.s)

'''Tiefling (+1 LA):''' “How they let these people in here, I don’t know. Look at that Kailey and her pointy teeth and her little horns and her naval ring and her... tight butt and... that short, short little skirt... ‘Ahem’ Shameful, is what it is.” ''–-Merrick, aasimar starting forward''

=== Other Humanoids ===

'''Asherati:'''  "But I've heard such great things about Athas.  The unbearable heat, the endless sand.  Pleeaase, can we go there on Spring Break?"  ''--Djede, sophomore Asherati rogue, and the first girl with whom Regdar initiated the breakup''

'''Blue (+1 LA):''' Blues are often poorly integrated into campus life. Too smart to hang with the goblins, too puny to hang with the humans, too tasty to hang with the mind flayers. But someday, when they graduate –with honors– and take over a major dorje consortium in Waterdeep, then everyone will be sorry.

'''Bhuka:'''  "Like, why do you keep coming to me for quotes.  You want something like, 'Oh, he's got big feet, you know what that means?'  Why do you want to make me look like some kind of slut? I mean, f' real, big whatever, he's still a goblin."  ''--Mialee, 5th year elf wizard''

'''Bugbear (2 HD +1 LA):''' “There’s a couple of bugbears in the upper grades. For some reason, they’re always in the upper grades. I’ve never met a bugbear freshman. Weird. Anyway, I’m not sure they actually go here. They’re always asking where the beer parties are.” –Regdar, 5th year human fighter

'''Buomann:''' " * " ''--Himmanan, 1st year buomann monk''

'''Catfolk (+1 LA):''' “No. Lidda. You can’t keep him.” ''-–Naull, Lidda’s roommate''

'''Changeling:'''  "That was awesome, Paik.  Now, uh, next time, can you look like Professor Falconhand?"  ''--Regdar, dumped again''

'''Crucian (3 HD +2 LA):'''  "Terrible wrestlers.  Flip 'em on their backs, it's over." ''--Coach Klank, warforged football (and substitute wrestling) coach''

'''Darfellan:'''  "The Darfellan hate Sahuagin.  They hunt Sahuagin, the Sahuagin kill them.  The Darfellan are close to extinction, yet they continue to hate and hunt Sahuagin.  And sahuagin are the evil ones.  What am I missing?"  ''--Zkk'skkklk, second year sahuagin expert (biology)''

'''Deep Imaskari:''' Heirs to Faerun’s lost empire of Imaskar, the deep Imaskari are rare on Sigil. However, those that are here have uncovered sub-basements that had been lost to antiquity. The Otiluke Building has heat for the first time in five centuries.

'''Draconic/Half-Dragon (+1 to +4):'''  "Thing is, I didn't even realize I was progressing in the half-dragon monster progression.  Y'know, until I was spitting off the top of the library, and burned a hole in a freshman."  ''--Tarb'osh, third year half-black dragon fighter''

'''Dragonborn:''' "It was supposed to be a pact, y'know.  Like tattoos or piercings.  I was really pissed when Mialee, Regdar, Lidda, and Tordek pulled their rubber masks off." ''--Hennet, recently converted Dragonborn Sorcerer''

'''Extaminaar:'''  Always scheming, always trying to create some advantage, eternally opportunistic.  That's what the Player Characters in the Sigil Prep campaign do.  Oh, and Extaminaar are snake people.

'''Flind (2 HD +2 LA):'''  "Flind bar, right, whatever.  That nunchuck fad was over a decade ago.  Dork."  ''--Kailey, 4th year tiefling sorcerer''

'''Forestkith Goblin (+1 LA):'''  "So, then, on the way to the shower, I transported via plants, and, I don't know... I swear I thought I heard the tree giggle."  ''--Vadania, 4th year elf druid''

'''Githyanki (+2 LA):''' You know these guys, with their leather jackets and their silver swords, smoking cigarettes under the bleachers and breaking into lockers, then slipping into the Astral Plane before a teacher sees them. Buncha jerks.

'''Githzerai (+2 LA):''' “Mr. El’fleh just sat there, meditating, completely unaware of his surroundings, completely in tune only with his own consciousness, for hours on end. That was a great class.” ''–-Ember, 4th year Human Monk''

'''Gnoll (2 HD +1 LA):''' “Jorhk used to follow me around in that old ‘Silverhand’ tour shirt with the sleeves ripped off. Just laughed his stupid hyena laugh at every joke I made. I miss that guy.” ''-–Krusk, 3rd year Half-orc Barbarian''

'''Goblin:''' “Look to your left. Look to your right. One of those people won’t be here for graduation. If they’re both goblins, neither of them will be.” ''-–standard orientation oratory''

'''Hadozee:'''  "Deck ape, you poop-slinging moron.  I called you a deck ape!"  ''--Regdar, called him something else''

'''Hengeyokai (+1 LA):''' “Lidda found this sparrow flying down the halls of our dorm. She caught it and kept it in a cage. Turns out, it was Sadako, from our Interpretive Dance class. Lidda still won’t let her out.” ''–-Naull, Lidda’s roommate''

'''Hobgoblin (+1 LA):''' There are a fair number of hobgoblins enrolled at Sigil. Many of them are on athletic scholarships. One of them is in Comparative Lawful Good Philosophies, and is studying to be a Paladin of Bahamut. Go figure.

'''Irda (+2 LA):''' “Amberyl’s an ogre? How can somebody that good-looking belong to the same race as those ugly morons..?” ''-–Regdar, learning a valuable lesson on what not to say in a locker room full of ogres''

'''Kalashtar:'''  "I'm tellin' ya, that Morgrave University team, they're hard to beat.  Kalashtar quarterback; they don't even huddle, man!  The whole team's mindlinked!" ''--Krusk, half-orc offensive lineman''

'''Kenku:'''  Last year, this kenku used his mimicry ability to impersonate Professor Raistlin, hoping to get Records to change his grades.  Sounded just like the Prof.  Still looked like a big crow in a hoody, though.

'''Kobold:''' “You know what sucks? Kobolds are actually good at sorcery. So, like, freshman year, I’m kicking the little buggers around the hallway, then suddenly, we’re in Pre-Alchemy, and they turn my pants into caterpillars.” ''–-Hennet, 3rd year Human Sorcerer''

'''Krinth:'''  Created as slaves in the City of Shade, back on Faerun.  The smartest and most loyal of them enjoy higher social status than any but the Shades themselves.  The strongest and dumbest make up Shadovar's defensive line.  They can't be shaken, so they remain the only defensive line that has never actually turned and run from Krusk when he has the ball.

'''Lizardfolk (2 HD +1 LA):''' There are a few lizardkids here and there around Sigil, mostly to meet a quota. Reptilian rights groups are politically strong, persistent, and led by dragons.

'''Maenad:''' “That Ragnara, wow. Bet she’s a screamer.” –Regdar, sexist pig. “Yes, yes, you are correct, Regdar.” ''–-Mitra, learning about herself while away at school''

'''Mephling (+1 LA):'''  "But every other race that's 'fire' something is immune to fireballs.  Fire giant, firenewt, I just assumed fire mephling would be."  ''--Hennet, regretting his participation in prank week''

'''Minotaur, Krynnian:''' Minotaurs from Krynn are not the hulking brutes found on other Materials. Sigil is usually a humbling experience for them. On Krynn, they pride themselves on their superior strength. At Sigil, they usually get assigned to the same wrestling team as their much larger kin.

'''Nezumi:''' There’s a few of these guys here, but you hardly ever see them. See, over in the Black Campus, there’s an old dorm building that somehow got the Shadowland taint, and Ratlings are the only guys who can live there. So there they all are.

'''Poison Dusk Lizardfolk (+1 LA):'''  There hasn't been one here yet who didn't major in Ranger.  They always choose Humanoid (frat boy) as their favored enemy, and they always claim their victim's kegs as their treasure.

'''Raptoran:'''  Dholua is the pride of our debate team.  Just last year, she debated Morikage in "The Honor System:  Flavorful or Pointless", she took on Morgrave Academy over "Are Thousand Foot Towers Reckless Endangerment?", and she even went to Union Conservatory, and won the debate over "Is there such a thing as Too Powerful?"  As I recall, the only time she lost was to Kailey:  "Debating Pretentious Bird People is Lame."

'''Rilkan:'''  "But it wasn't supposed to come off!  It was scales, not a rash!  I came in here for a volleyball physical!"  ''--Tarrenta Willet, 3rd year rilkan bard and infirmary victim''

'''Shifter:'''  "I once picked a fight with this shy, scrawny kid.  That's why I look like this."  ''--Krusk, slightly disfigured half-orc barbarian''

'''Skarn:'''  "No, that's my roommate Lidda.  She was trying to backstab you.  If you don't mind, I'd like to just leave her impaled there for a little while."  ''--Naull, to Stergan, freshman skarn incarnate''

'''Slyth (+2 LA):''' “You gotta know where the Slyth hang out. They turn into puddles to relax, and you don’t want to wind up mopping up students. Again.” ''–-Garrath, janitor''

'''Snow Goblin (+1 LA):'''  "HEY, YOU GUYS WANT TO GO GRAB A BURGER?" ''--Goo-tha, 2nd year snow goblin fighter'' "Dude, keep your voice down." ''--Krusk, 4th year half-orc barbarian''  "WHAT DO YOU MEAN?  I AM KEEPING MY VOICE DOWN!" ''--Goo-tha''

'''Spellscale:'''  "Spellscales may be mistaken for half-dragons, my ass!  A half-dragon wouldn't be caught dead wearing that." ''--Tarb'osh, third year half-dragon fighter, and fashion critic''

'''Spirit Folk:''' Barely a presence here. Spirit Folk have little use for formal education, believing the most valuable lessons are learned from your surroundings. So Sea Spirit Folk stay near the sea, River Spirit Folk stay near the river, Mountain Spirit Folk near the mountains, Bamboo spirit folk stay near the bamboo. And School Spirit Folk stay near the gymnasium.*

*The administration would like you to know that this was some student’s idea of humor. There is no such thing as School Spirit folk. Probably.

'''Sunscorch Hobgoblins (+1):'''  Sunscorch hobgoblins have a natural craving for power.  Unfortunately, there aren't many of them, and what with all the Drow and demons and beholders around... Well, they have an iron grip on the Show Choir.

'''Tasloi:'''  They have this pack mentality, that actually keeps their population at Sigil Prep down.  Eighteen of them will send in applications at the same time, and if they all don't get in, none of them come.

'''Troglodyte (2 HD +2 LA):''' “Man, you ever been on an elevator with one of these guys? Ugh. Worse than Krusk after Maztican take-out.” ''-–Regdar, 5th year human fighter''

'''Vanara:''' “One time, there were a bunch of these guys in a room together with a bunch of typewriters, and it took a while, but they wrote a pretty good play.” ''–-Naull, theatre lover''

'''Viletooth Lizardfolk (2 HD +1):'''  "Umm... like, I heard their bites delivered acid, and, I might have... uh, misunderstood?  Could you just reattach my arm?"  ''--Vadania, 3rd year elf druid''

'''Xeph:''' Being nomads by nature, Xephs don’t always attend Sigil start to finish. They transfer in, they transfer out. They’ve been known to transfer right in the middle of class.

'''Yuan-ti Tainted One (+2 LA):''' Because of the methods used to turn humans into Tainted Ones, there was a policy of expelling them for drug abuse, but the Yuan-ti successfully pleaded that the policy was suppressing their cultural practices.

=== Aberrations ===

'''Athach (14 HD +5 LA):'''  "He's got a third arm.  Growing out of his chest.  Um...  Is there any way we can use that?"  ''--Regdar, quarterback''

'''Daelkyr Half-Blood:'''  "Okay, this crap all over your body, I don't care if you want to call them symbionts, 'kay?  I'm just saying, bathe."  ''--Mialee, 5th year elf wizard''

'''Drider (6 HD +4 LA):'''  "I'm sorry, De'nnaa, but you did volunteer to leave Students for Lolth.  I hear the dorm basement is nice."  ''--Maddie Webber, president and head taskmistress, Students for Lolth''

'''Elan:''' Rumor has it that some two hundred or so years ago, a 5th year Psionics Development class turned themselves into evolved beings for extra credit. Ever since, they’ve been sort of a secret society on campus, selecting a dozen or so humans each year for “initiation”. “Do they really exist? Who knows? Well, I do. I’ve got one in third period Biology.” ''–-Mitra, 4th year human psion''

'''Ettercap (5 HD +4 LA):'''  "This is why I hate these multiracial dorms.  Between Maddie, that Ettercap that she hangs out with, and the Aranea in room Negative Square Root of 5, I can't get from here to the elevator without cobwebs all in my hair."  ''--Kailey, 4th year tiefling sorcerer''

'''Mind Flayer (8 HD +7 LA):''' There aren’t too many mind flayer students here, because they have an annoying tendency to eat their classmate’s brains, an act frowned upon even by Necromancy majors.

'''Neogi (5 HD +3 LA):'''  "There will never be a neogi student here as long as I'm Dean of Admissions.  Even Yugoloths have to have standards."  ''--Shemeska the Marauder''

'''Quaraphon (9 HD +5 LA):'''   "AAAAAAAIIIIIIEEEEE!!!!" ''--Mialee, 5th year elf wizard''

'''Synad:''' "A quote on Synads?  Well, I'm of three minds on the subject. Gah!  Hahahaha!  Get it?  Three minds, and they have... Hahahahahaha!!!  Oh my Garl, I kill me, *snort*" ''--Gimble (we really need to quite interviewing him)''

'''Umber Hulk (8 HD +6 LA):'''  "Hey!  You bump me, jerk?  Hey, don't walk off!  Yeah, you look me in the eye and say that, punk!  You look me pork chop wiener dog healthy port-a-potty clam bake."  ''--Krusk, potato salad fedora Elminster-bane''

=== Constructs ===

'''Flesh Golem (9 HD +6 LA):'''  "I've got a new roommate lined up.  I just have to finish building him.  Come on, let me move!"  ''--Naull, desperation mounting''

'''Psiforged:'''  "So, this new guy, Krilg, he's a warforged." ''--Regdar, 5th year human fighter''  "No, he's a psiforged."  ''--Krusk, 4th year half-orc barbarian''  "So he's a Psion?" ''--Regdar''  "No, he's a fighter."  ''--Krusk''  "So Psiforged can be warriors?" ''--Regdar''  "Yeah." ''--Krusk''  "But Warforged can't be Psions." ''--Regdar''  "No, Warforged can be Psions." ''--Krusk''  "Warforged can be psions, and Psiforged can be warriors?" ''--Regdar''  "Absolutely" ''--Krusk''  "So... what the fuck?" ''--Regdar''

'''Warforged:'''  "Coach Klank is an awesome trainer, although a bunch of the B team collapsed and were sent to the Infirmary.  We had to have a little talk to him about 'fatigue'."  ''--Krusk, half-orc offensive lineman''

'''Warforged Charger (4 HD +4 LA):'''  "Wait, Warforged people evolved from Warforged apes?  Man, what kind of crap do they teach in those Eberron schools?" ''--Krusk, 4th year half-orc barbarian''

'''Warforged Scout:'''  "I thought the Red team would have sent a scout to spy on us by now, but it seems they're close to surrendering.  They've even sent us this shiny award statue.  Let's just set him right here in our command center while we discuss our strategy over pizza."  ''--Tobias, 3rd year human marshal''

=== Dragons ===

'''Baaz Draconian (2 HD +1 LA):''' The original party dragons, you don’t want a dorm near these guys. All night, every night. Sometimes they kidnap bards and force them to play at top volume until security comes. Then they blame it all on the bards.

'''Dracotaur (3 HD +5 LA):'''  "Do not think this is compassion, puny elf.  I give you my pudding cup merely because I do not like butterscotch."  ''--Kargoff, 1st year dracotaur fighter''

'''Kapak Draconian (2 HD +2 LA):''' “Okay, they have poison tongues. Do not use a fork or spoon after a kapak has used it. Save it for practical joke fodder.” ''-–Maddie Webber, 3rd year drow rogue/cleric of Lolth/not terribly nice girl''

=== Elementals ===

'''Air Elemental (8 HD +6 LA):'''  There is always the danger that, after summoning an Elemental, it won't want to go away.  Before you bring it to the enrollment office, remember, you can dispel it.

'''Belker (7 HD +5 LA):'''  "Smoke, what smoke?  Oh, that's just J'im.  I like summoning Belkers.  I'm not trying to cover up anything."  ''--Vadania, 4th year elf druid''

'''Earth Elemental (8 HD +5 LA):'''  "Okay, men.  You been pretty rough on the tackle dummies these last few practices.  So I had Professor Raistlin here summon us up a mess of these bad boys.  Any you freshmen can knock one down, you get promoted to first string."  ''--Coach Klank, football coach''

'''Fire Elemental (8 HD +6 LA):'''  "Hey, Naull.  Either the room's on fire, or Dave's here to see you.  Hmm.  Well, if you're Dave, she's asleep.  If you're the room on fire, I'll be at my boyfriend's."  ''--Lidda, Naull's roommate''

'''Magmin (2 HD +3 LA):'''  "Fire in the hole!"  ''--Gartha the Red, enjoys the sport of Magmin-tossing into Chem lab''

'''Water Elemental (8 HD +5 LA):'''  "Okay, I'm thinking it's, like, just a tub of water.  He could have said something at any time before I finished my bath.  I do not regret banishing him." ''--Mialee, 5th year elf wizard''

=== Fey ===

'''Domovoi (2 HD +4 LA):'''  "It was a pretty brilliant idea, really.  Put a bed in the boiler room, instant Domovoi dorm room.  I work harder since they told me I didn't get to eat the students I couldn't house."  ''--Mr. Roper, head of Housing''

'''Duskling:'''  "Fey, huh?  Like Sylphs or Nymphs or Dryads.  Yeah, that sounds... Oh, my gods, what the hell is that?" ''--Regdar, first and last blind date''

'''Grig (+3 LA):'''  "Ever since my poppa built me, that grig has been sittin' on my shoulder callin' himself my conscious.  The irony is, everything I got blamed for, he did!" ''--Coach Klank, got no strings to hold him down''

'''Killoren:'''  "I came to Sigil Prep to return it to nature, but... but the city's natural state is as a city... but my race exists to bond with nature... but... but... Mialee's doing body shots..."  ''--Kivil, freshman Killoren Druid''

'''Nixie (+3 LA):'''  "Sixteen shower stalls and only one tub on this floor, and guess where little Nixie Neela decides to sleep."  ''--Kailey, 3rd year sorcerer''

'''Pixie (+4 or +6 LA):''' One in ten Pixies flunk out of Otto’s Irresistible Dance Class. It’s weird, really.

'''Satyr (5 HD +2 LA):''' “I dated this satyr once. He was, like, a junior, I was a freshman. You know what they say about satyrs and their sexual prowess? Disappointing!” ''-–Mialee, 5th year elf wizard''

'''Uldra (+1 LA):'''  Professor Skycornice teaches a number of language classes, from basic Orcish to Advanced Sylvan.  She's a favorite around campus, and she only has one really strict rule.  "No one comes in my classroom without a hat."  (Common decency, you know.)

=== Giants ===

'''Crystalline Troll (10 HD +5 LA):'''  "Told him not to sit next to the speaker." ''--Garrath, stone giant janitor, sweeping up after last night's Silverhand concert''

'''Cyclops (13 HD +4 LA):'''  They're aggressive and enjoy raiding frat parties, keggers, and sorority pledge ceremonies.  They drink the kegs, hit on a couple of girls until they get a fireball in the face, and give a couple of wedgies before they hit the road.  I don't think they go to school here.

'''Fire Giant (15 HD +4 LA):'''  "Professor Hee'tmizer is too cool.  He sings that goofy song, while his little Azer buddies dance around behind him, every time you come to visit.  Too bad he never let Professor Sz'nomizzar let it snow on campus."  ''--Soveliss, who is an elf, if that helps you get the reference''

'''Frost Giant (14 HD +4 LA):'''  "Hey, I came up with the goofy song.  Hee'tmizer just copied mine and changed some of the words around."  ''--Professor Sz'nomizzar; I mean, if you don't get the reference right away, it's not going to be funny later...''

'''Half-Giant (+1 LA):''' Ofar was the servant of a powerful sorcerer-prince whose Dad sent him here from some far off Material Plane. The Prince flunked out sophomore year, when it was found out the half-giant was doing his homework for him. Ofar’s on the honor role now, by the way.

'''Half-Ogre (+2 LA):''' “I’ve got nothing against half-ogres. I’m as open-minded as anybody. It’s just the act that leads to them. Whoa.” ''-–Regdar, 5th year human fighter''

'''Hill Giant (12 HD +4 LA):''' A couple of years ago, a giant’s rights group forced Sigil to take a handful of giant students each year. Borl’gor failed every class, even Beginner’s Hitting Things with a Big Club. They passed him through anyway, just to get rid of him.

'''Ogre (4 HD +2 LA):''' “Porl ain’t much of a student, but he’s one hell of an offensive lineman.” ''–-Regdar, quarterback''

'''Ogre Mage (5 HD +7 LA):''' Mr. Onikuma teaches Lawful Evil Philosophies. Two years ago, some erinyes kid kidnaped him, tortured him for seven days, and left him to die. She’s the only person who ever got full credit for that class.

'''Sand Giant (15 HD +4 LA):'''  "Well, yeah, the sand giant girls are good at beach volleyball, but... *shudder*" ''--Regdar, 5th year human fighter''

'''Skullcrusher Ogre (8 HD +3 LA):'''  "Best assistant coach I ever had."  ''--Klank, warforged football coach''

'''Stone Giant (14 HD +4 LA):''' Garrath, the janitor in the Mordenkainen Building, is a Stone Giant. Rumor has it, he was a student once, but he loved the cavernous halls so much, he decided not to leave.

'''Taer (2 HD +1 LA):''' They’re primitive and naked, but Taer are quite the adept storytellers. They would be exceptional in Creative Writing, except for the whole not-being-able-to-write thing.

'''Troll (6 HD +5 LA):''' “And you can see the ventricle here is fed by the atrium... go ahead, pass it around. But hurry before my chest closes up.” ''–-Mr. Murgawr, troll biology professor''

=== Magical Beasts ===

'''Aranea (3 HD +4 LA):'''  "Between my school work, my job at the local newspaper, and taking care of my sickly aunt, I barely have any time for myself."  ''--Pahrkarh, 2nd year aranea sorcerer''

'''Griffon (7 HD +3 LA):'''  "If you have an intelligent mount, and the mount wishes to enroll, that must be discussed between you and your mount."  ''--excerpt, Student Handbook''

=== Monstrous Humanoids ===

'''Aarakocra (+2 LA):''' “Krusk, stop! For aarakocra, ‘bird-brain’ is a compliment!” ''–-Regdar, 5th year human fighter''

'''Annis (7 HD +5 LA):'''  Mrs. Krivel teaches Advanced Curses, and graduate level Villainy.  She has a zero tolerance for unexcused absences.  First offense is an automatic cooking.

'''Armand (5 HD +3 LA):'''  "They don't believe in wealth, but they long for the "pleasures of life".  Now, how exactly can you experience the pleasures of life without beer money?" ''--Regdar, 5th year human fighter''

'''Centaur (4 HD +2 LA):''' “This school is not quadruped accessible! It’s a disgrace! Do you know how hard it is for me to take a class on the third floor?” ''-–Danar Chiron III, 1st year centaur ranger''

'''Chitine (2 HD +2 LA):''' “Every year, when Students for Lolth has our membership drive, these guys show up in droves. Officially, we’re open to all students, but we turn every chitine down, and laugh about it. It’s how Lolth would want it.” ''-–Maddie Webber, president, Students for Lolth''

'''Dekanter Goblin (2 HD +4 LA):''' There has been only one dekanter goblin student in the history of Sigil Prep. It was the year Manifest Academy had their best football team ever. We needed one powerful defensive player, and we offered this guy a full, unconditional scholarship. That son of Umberlee took it, and didn’t even join the team! Psychology major. We lost, by the way.

'''Doppelganger (4 HD +4 LA):''' Officially, there are about a dozen doppelgangers enrolled. There may be more, who can say? Last semester, one of the girls on the volleyball team was outed, and she left, embarrassed, and hasn’t been seen again.

'''Dragonkin (7 HD +3 LA):''' “I really want to know who makes the racial divisions. Because Draconians get classified as ‘Dragon’, but I get shoved in with the Monstrous Humanoids. It’s because they’re from Krynn, isn’t it? This place shows some blatant favoritism.” ''-–Forrgh, freshman dragonkin barbarian''

'''Dromite (+1 LA):''' Over at the Psionics campus, these guys are pretty common. Thus, the big roach problem, because we can’t spray there.

'''Feral Gargun (2 HD +2 LA):'''  "Here's some advice for half-orc students.  Feral gargun wingman.  Bam!  You're the cute one by default."  ''--Krusk, ain't too pretty''

'''Frostfolk (4 HD +1 LA):'''  "You sold your soul to an archdevil to gain power over snow and ice?  Then what do you have to offer me?"  ''--Shemeska, Dean of Admissions and student loan officer''

'''Gargoyle (4 HD +5 LA):''' “You’re a student? I thought you were a decoration. Dude, sorry about the spray paint.” ''-–Krusk, 3rd year Half-Orc Barbarian''

'''Goatfolk (3 HD +1 LA):'''  "Sir, I have an Ibixian lab partner.  He ate the labels on my potion bottles.  I don't remember what's my Potion of Cure Light Wounds, and what's the Greekfire I made."  --Hennet, 3rd year human sorcerer  "Well, only one way to find out."  ''--Professor Raistlin Majere''

'''Goliath (+1 LA):'''  We started taking Goliath students --this was before the school was fully integrated, mind you-- for one reason only.  Defensive line.  Turns out they can't run in a freakin' straight line.  Still, we would have been happy if only the division had let us build our football field on a craggy cliff face.

'''Green Hag (9 HD +5 LA):'''  Every year the Red Campus has a bitchin' Feast of the Dead party.  A lot of the girls dress like Green Hags.  Except the Green Hag girls; they dress like Mialee.  (Shudder).

'''Grimlock (2 HD +2 LA):''' If you go down to the boiler room to smoke, chances are you’ll find Grimlocks down there, in the caverns that stretch for miles beneath the school. Nobody’s sure if they’re students or not.

'''Hagspawn (+2 LA):''' There are actually a surprising number of hagspawns here. I mean, you’ve got a successful career luring children to your gingerbread house or tricking great heroes into doing your bidding, you only really have time to deal with the kids that can follow in your footsteps. You either sell the boys into slavery, or pack ‘em off to school.

'''Harpy (7 HD +3 LA):'''  "No more harpy opening acts!  It's ridiculous to have a sold-out concert where the entire audience follows the opening act out of the theatre after a lame cover of 'Killing Me Softly'." ''--Storm Silverhand, Professor of Bardic Knowledge and rock 'n' roll goddess''

'''Harssaf (6 HD +4 LA):'''  "It's the sand, y'know?  It sort of chafes."  ''--Mialee, 5th year elf wizard''

'''Kir-lanan (4 HD +4 LA):''' The rumor is, they have no souls, and therefore can’t become clerics, or use any sort of divine magic. One chief reason, I guess, why Prohg sits forlornly in his Comparative Mythologies class and sighs.

'''Kuo-Toa (2 HD +3 LA):''' “There are those races that love their gods. Drow, yuan-ti. But Kuo-toans, they’re the worst. Because you can’t hear the name "Blibdoolpoolp" without laughing. And you can’t laugh at Blibdoolpoolp without eating a lightning bolt.” ''-–Regdar, 5th year human fighter''

'''Loxo (5 HD +2 LA):'''  "They're a peaceful people.  Except when they're mad.  Professor Debib actually went to the division league and asked if we could convert to touch football.  Not nearly as annoying as when he asked if we could convert to touch wrestling."  ''--Coach Klank, warforged athletics instructor''

'''Medusa (6 HD +4 LA):'''  "Teertha, maybe it's time we reconsidered your place on the cheerleading squad."  ''--Maddie Webber, head cheerleader''

'''Minotaur (6 HD +4 LA):''' “Every semester, I try to get as many classes as possible with Krrf. Other students may have nervous breakdowns trying to get around this campus, but me and Krrf get to class on time, every time.” ''-–Hennet, 3rd year Sorcerer''

'''Nycter (3 HD +2 LA):'''  "Trolls are a superstitious, cowardly lot, so my disguise must strike terror into their hearts..."  ''--Brue Zwain, 1st year nycter ranger''

'''Sea Hag (3 HD +5 LA):'''  "Sea Hag."  ''--Krusk, 3rd year half-orc barbarian''  "Of course I see her, she's right there."  ''--Regdar, 5th year human fighter''  "No!  Her.  Sea Hag."  ''--Krusk''  "Well, she doesn't see a hag.  She sees a half-orc and a human."  ''--Regdar'' "Grrr.  No.  I'm saying, there.  Sea Hag."  ''--Krusk''  "I saw her the first time."  ''--Regdar''  "Ugh.  Next time you make a dumb orc joke, I'm pounding your head in."  ''--Krusk''

'''Thri-Kreen (2 HD +2 LA):''' There’s been some debate in recent years between Sigil and its rival schools about whether Thri-Kreen should be allowed to compete in track and field events. Although they are tentatively allowed to compete, they are exempt from the high jump.

'''Unbodied (4 HD +4 LA):''' “Like, I don’t care how nice a guy he is, having a floating brain in the desk beside mine makes it so totally hard to concentrate on Metaphysics or whatever. And I’m sorry, but ‘No, I am not going out with you, Mr. Cerebellum-for-brains’, okay?” ''–-Mialee, 5th year elf wizard''

'''Wemic (5 HD +3 LA):''' “Yeah, I get that it’s a cultural thing that the women do the hunting, but you can get your own chips, dude.” ''-–Mitra, 3rd year human psion''

'''Witchknife (9 HD +3 LA):'''  "Okay, the last three games you bet against us and used your psionic command to influence the outcome.  If it happens again..."  ''--Regdar, 5th year human fighter''   "Throw the game" ''--Bork, witchknife rogue''  "You make a good point." ''--Regdar''

'''Yuan-ti Pureblood (4 HD +2 LA):''' The worst thing about these guys is, they’re not just the sort who try to impose their religious beliefs on you. That would be bad enough, but they want you to worship them.

=== Outsiders ===

'''Astral Deva (12 HD +8 LA):'''  "My great-grandfather was an Astral Deva.  He has a lot of pull with Heironeous.  I'm no fool, I know where my scholarship comes from."  ''--Merrick, aasimar'' paladin

'''Avoral (7 HD +7 LA):'''  Every year, Mr. Brightwing takes the second and third year Neutral Good Philosophies classes to Elysium as a class trip.  Allegedly, some classes actually get to meet Pelor, but most of the time, they just have to listen to some speech by Sathia the Sky Duchess of the Five Companions.

'''Azer (2 HD +4 LA):''' “Like, this one time, there was this guy in Advanced Metallurgy, which was in Room 606Pi, like, before my fifth period Necromancy. Anyway, his head was, like, totally on fire. I was always, like, ‘That is one dwarf who really needs to keep his beard out of the Bunsen burner.’” ''–-Mialee, 5th year Elf Wizard''

'''Barghest (6 HD +4 LA):'''  "Well, he looked like a goblin."  --Mr. Roper of housing, explaining why half the first year goblin students at Triton Dormitory were eaten

'''Bariaur (3 HD +2 LA, or +1 LA):''' There seems to be two kinds of Bariaur. There’s Exalted Bariaurs, and Planar Bariaurs. I don’t think you can tell the difference just looking at them. It’s probably rude to ask, so don’t worry about it.

'''Djinn (7 HD +6 LA):'''  "I wish I got an A in Civilizations.  I wish I got an A in Literature..."  --Matalla, freshman djinni, calling home to dad.  "I don't suppose you've read the honor code in regard to wishes?"  --Eberk, dean of Divine Thought.  "Aaannd I wish Eberk would forget about that honor code dealy."  ''--Matalla again''

'''Draegloth (6 HD +4 LA):'''  "So then I said, 'Why don't you summon a demon and mate with it?'  And she did!  And then, I was all, well, that's my servant, there, that ugly stunted-armed freak, so worship it.  And they did!  My followers are so damned stupid... Wait, this is off the record, right?"  ''--Lolth, Queen of the Demonweb Pits''

'''Efreeti (10 HD +9 LA):'''  "No, I don't really get much out of teaching, but there's hardly any adventuring in Zakhara anymore, and I needed the gp's.  Wait, this is for the yearbook?  Can I give you another quote?"  ''--Drakkha, professor of Elemental Fire Studies''

'''Flamebrother (4 HD +4 LA):'''  "What?  I thought a salamander was a little bitty newt-like thing.  Man, I hate Spell Components Lab."  ''--Hennet, 3rd year human sorcerer''

'''Ghaele (10 HD +10 LA):'''  Wherever evil and tyranny raise their ugly heads, the ghaeles respond.  Wherever evil and tyranny take second year Alchemy, the ghaeles sign up for different lab partners.

'''Hamatula (9 HD +5 LA):'''  "From a Blood War standpoint, I hate them, of course.  From an organizational standpoint, they're good to stick papers on."  ''--Shemeska the Marauder, Dean of Admissions''

'''Hound Archon (6 HD +5 LA):''' You know a school is good when the heavenly hosts are sending their kids here. Mind you, there’s only been a couple of hound archons in the student body in the last thousand years, but they certainly made an impression.

'''Imp (3 HD +4 LA):'''  "Professor Morthos made us go out to the Black Campus courtyard, where the Imp students and the Quasit students were doing a reenactment of the Blood Wars.  I guess it was supposed to be educational, but I haven't slept in months."  ''--Hennet, 3rd year human sorcerer''

'''Janni (6 HD +5 LA):''' There was a Janni student a couple of years ago. Kept changing majors. Finally, he dropped out to work for his dad’s second-hand camel business.

'''Kyton (8 HD +6 LA):'''  "So, like, the chains are just for combat, or..."  ''--Mialee, always trails off at the right moment''

'''Lillend (7 HD +6 LA):'''  "Rivina is hands down the best actress in Drama Club, but the feathers, the snake tail... I'm just not buying her as Lady MacBeth."  ''--Devis, theatre critic''

'''Lumi (2 HD +2 LA):'''  "Get... Out... Of... My... Classroom..!!!"  ''--Professor Strahd von Zoravich, vampire spellcraft instructor''

'''Naztharune Rakshasa (11 HD +5 LA):'''  Mr. Fasshahd's teaching assistant, Maraa'h, does all his grunt work:  grading papers, printing lesson plans, murdering his detractors in Chessenta...

'''Neraphim:''' The Neraphim come from the plane of Limbo, and are thus quite insightful in Chaotic Neutral Philosophies class.  That is, when they show up.  Assuming they show up at the right time.  In the right building.  And the professor's there.

'''Rakshasa (7 HD +7 LA):''' “See, I don’t think Mr. Fasshahd is so much teaching a class in Ethics as he is recruiting assassins. This based on the fact that Lidda tried to murder me last night.” ''–-Naull, Lidda’s roommate''

'''Shade (+4 LA):''' The City of Shade on Faerun is home to one of our chief rival schools, Shadovar Conservatory. Most of their students trade portions of their souls for the stuff of shadow. Whether or not this has anything to do with their region championship basketball team is uncertain.

'''Spiker:'''  "Yes, your housing costs are higher than your roommate's and no that's not a mistake.  We do have to replace your mattress every single day, after all."  ''--Shemeska, arcanoloth Dean of Admissions, to any given spiker student''

'''Stonechild (2 HD +4 LA):'''  "I think our mistake was putting Kihild at the top of the pyramid."  ''--Maddie Webber, head cheerleader and chiropractic patient''

'''Succubus (6 HD +6 LA):'''  "Maddie the Drow, Kailey the tiefling, Brianna the Succubus... Is the whole cheerleading squad evil?"  ''--Merrick, aasimar paladin''

'''Triton (3 HD +2 LA):'''  "I took my first three years at Great Sea Academy.  Good school, but Umberlee occasionally smites it.  It's a rebuilding year, so I transferred here."  ''--Vistish, 4th year triton ranger''

'''Trumpet Archon (12 HD +8 LA):'''  "Wasn't good enough?  Wasn't good enough!?  Come on, it's a freaking racial ability!  You know what?  Screw your show band!"  ''--Agania, trumpet archon freshman''

'''Vrock (8 HD +8 LA):'''  "He-llo!?  You call that dancing?  When I say this number should bring the house down, I'm not kidding?  You know what, choreograph it yourself."  ''--Korkarack, Vrock dance'' 

'''Wildren (+1 LA):'''  It all started, of course, when Brum threw his mashed potatoes at Krusk.  I've never seen a food fight put so many people in the infirmary.

=== Plants ===

'''Treant (7 LA +5 LA):'''  Four years ago, the cafeteria was picketed by treant students protesting the violent use of innocent plants as food products.  It was, pardon the term, fruitless.  Since then, the sentient plant student population has dropped to near non-existent.

'''Volodni (+2 LA):''' “Yeah, I had a Volodni roommate once. The best part was, if I was late for class, I could just transport via plants through her. Not sure why she moved.” ''-–Vadania, 4th year druid and Mialee’s slightly dumber half-sister''

=== Undead ===

'''Ghast (4 HD +4 LA):'''  "They can paralyze elves?  So what?  Under the right circumstances, so can Kerwyn."  ''--Mialee, 5th year elf wizard''

'''Ghoul (2 HD +3 LA):'''  "Mr. Jozan, I appreciate your enthusiasm, but those ghouls are in this class, too.  Would you quit turning them?"  ''--Professor Strahd, Necromantic Studies''

'''Mohrg (14 HD +6 LA):'''  "No vital areas to sneak attack?  What?  There's organs hanging out all over the place.  How could you not sneak attack him?"  ''--Lidda, 4th year halfling rogue''

'''Mummy (8 HD +5 LA):'''  “If you have a course in Ancient Civilizations, you definitely want a class with Professor Ank’Nahaset. He really knows a lot…because, you know, he was there when it happened.” ''--Mialee, 5th year elf wizard''

'''Shadow (3 HD +7 LA):'''  "I can tell you a good reason not to attend Sigil.  I don't think there's a single shadow attending this school that hasn't ended up bonded to some Shadowdancer student."  ''--Miltrin, unhappy shadow sophomore''

'''Vampire Spawn (4 HD +4 LA):'''  There aren't terribly many vampires signing up for Professor Strahd's Beginning Necromancy, but there are a lot coming out of that class...

'''Wight (4 HD +4 LA):'''  "I was a little surprised when a bunch of these guys signed up for the school's Spelljamming Club, but you know, they got the Wight Stuff... OW!"  ''--Regdar, needs to shut up''